


I Believe in Nothing (But the Truth in Who We Are)

by CursedOrNot



Category: Supernatural
Genre: (to be exact), Alternate Universe - College/University, Bisexual Dean, Cuddling, F/F, Flirting, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Nerd Castiel, Pansexual Castiel, Pining, Unrequited Love, drunk cuddling
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-08
Updated: 2016-02-11
Packaged: 2018-05-19 03:34:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5952180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CursedOrNot/pseuds/CursedOrNot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel is your typical college sophomore. He's studious, stressed, and sleep-deprived. But what happens when Charlie invites him down to Dean Winchester's room one Friday night knowing fully well that Dean is Castiel's campus crush.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Story of Tonight

**Author's Note:**

> *Disclaimer* I wrote this at like 2 am and it's not beta'd so sorry for mistakes. Also this may or may not have happened to me IRL.
> 
> This will be updated and edited soon and I am 100% going to make every chapter title a Hamilton lyric lmao

Castiel was sitting at his dorm room desk, chemistry notes splayed out everywhere. His second chem test was coming up and he didn’t do so well on the first one so he really needed to step his game up. His study playlist was still going strong but it was a Friday night and Cas was not satisfied with how things were going. He was stressed and he really should be with his friends but he didn’t want the nagging guilt during his test that he could have done more.

_Tap. Tap. Tap._

Someone was at his door. Castiel reluctantly left his desk and walked over to the door. He peaked out the eyehole and it was deep red. _Charlie._ Who else put their hand over the door. He pulled open the door to see the red-head standing there smiling. She looked up at Cas, her eyes bloodshot as she laughs whole-heartedly before speaking.

“Cas! Don’t tell me you’re studying for your test on _Wednesday_!”

“You’re high”, Cas deadpanned.

“Cas it’s Friday night! Take the weekend off! Come down to 4F, they got cheap beer and it’s low key”

Cas breath hitched at the room. That was Dean Winchester’s room. The Dean Winchester that sat in his Medieval History course. The Dean Winchester that had a beautiful smile and always stayed after class to talk to Professor Singer. The very Dean Winchester that Charlie knew Castiel had a small crush on.

“Pleaseeeeee”

“I will make an attempt to appear”

Charlie smiled and waved as she walked down the hall to the stairs. Castiel shut and locked the door before he began to paced back to his closet. He couldn’t go down there in his boxers and a sweatshirt. Castiel slipped on a pair of black jeans and his favorite ACDC shirt. He walked over to the mirror and tried to fix his messy hair but it didn’t want to be tamed so he gave up. Castiel grabbed his phone, keys, and ID before locking his door and making his way down several floors to Dean’s room. He approached the door and made sure to double check the door tags.

_Dean….Ash_

This was it. He tested the doorknob. Locked. That was typical, Cas thought, there was underage drinking it a college dorm why would the door be unlocked. He knocked softly, trying not to mimic the CA. A few seconds later the door was opened. It was Dean.

“Hey, you must be Cas!, Charlie told me you might show up, I’m Dean. C’mon in!”

Castiel walked into the small dorm room and looked around. He saw Charlie sitting in the corner talking to a brown-haired girl. Looking around more he didn’t really see anyone else that he knew.

“Here you go”

Castiel turned around to Dean handing him a can of cheap beer.

“It’s on me”

Castiel took the can and looked up at Dean. He thanked Dean.

“How about I introduce you to everyone”

Castiel nodded his head.

“Well you know my name, Dean, that’s Ash- my roommate”, Dean said as he pointed to a kid sitting on his bed with long hair. “That’s Jo with the blonde hair sitting next to him. You know Charlie and that’s Dorothy sitting next to her. That’s about everyone here currently”

Dean then turned to the room and loudly stated “Hey guys this is Cas, he’s friends with Charlie”

They all looked up from their conversations and waved. Charlie smiled and told Castiel she was happy that he made it down here. Castiel smiled at Charlie before he cracked open the cheap beer and took a sip. It tasted horrible. Then the girl with the blonde hair, Jo, suggested they watch a movie.

“How about American Beauty”, Charlie suggested, “or Pulp Fiction”

“Pulp Fiction sounds great”, Dean said has he walked over to his TV to set up Netflix and start the movie. Castiel sat on the black bean bag chair that was unoccupied and tried sipping his beer while the film went on. 

About half way through the movie and Castiel was almost done with his beer. Dean got out from his bed and stretched.  He turned back to the crowd.

“How about we play a drinking game”, Dean said.

Castiel didn’t know any drinking games but sat down on the floor with everyone else.

“Okay”, Dean started, “we are going to play a game called Kings”

Dean placed a pack of cards on the floor and a full beer can. Ash walked over with a new beer for everyone and left the container behind him in order to easily grab more.

Dean continued, “For anyone who doesn’t know, you pick up a card and must perform the act that the card corresponds to. After that you place the card under the tab of the beer. The person who breaks the seal must chug the entire thing. I’ll go first”

Dean picked up a card, a 9, he tells everyone that he has to come up with a word and that everyone in the circle has to rhyme it and the person who can’t rhyme it has to drink.

“Dog”

Jo is sitting next to Dean so she says “Fog”

Charlie is next. Cog.

Dorothy. Log

Then Cas. Pog.

Ash audibly pauses for a second. “Sog?”

“That’s not a word!”, Charlie accuses, “You have to drink!”

So Ash takes a swig.

The game continues down the circle, pulling various cards, performing the acts, drinking, and placing the cards under the tabs. It gets to Castiel. He pulls an 8 of hearts.

“That means you must pick someone to be your “date” so that they have to drink when you drink”

Castiel looks around the circle. He could be safe and say Charlie, it would be safe. But Castiel doesn’t know if it’s from the 1 and half beers he’s downed or straight up possession but he looked at Dean in the eyes and says his name. Dean smiles at Cas. Castiel places the card under the tab as Ash reaches into the pile to pull a card out.

The game continues until they are almost done with the deck. Castiel is about 4 beers deep at this point and he’s praying that the card he’s about to place under the tab doesn’t crack the seal. He manages to slip it under with no adverse effects. So does Ash, but not before pulling an Ace and forcing everyone to waterfall. Dean pulls a five from the pile and all the guys drink. As he places the card under the tab it slices open with a crack.

“Dammit!” Dean shouts. He picks up the can, pulls the cards out from under the tab and downs the whole things.

“What now” Charlie slurs.

“Let’s watch another movie, I’ve got one, “ Dean says.

He walks over to his TV, grabs the remote and puts on _Top Gun_.

Castiel stands to walk over to the beanbag only to realize that it is now occupied by Jo. He turns around. Charlie and Dorothy have moved to Ash’s bed and Ash is sitting in his bungee chair. Castiel looks for a spot on the dorm floor that isn’t covered in beer cans. He is about to sit down when Dean taps him on the shoulder.

“Come sit on my bed, it’s okay”

Castiel nods and walks over the bed and hoists himself onto the tall bed. It’s comfortable, more comfortable than his own bed. Dean turns out the light and turns on the lamp on his desk so they have some light in case they need to get up. Dean walks over to his bed and sits on the other side from Cas.

The film is good. Castiel has never seen it before but it looks like a classic war movie, the music is definitely a high point. Yet Castiel is cold. He realizes that at some point the air conditioner turned on and wishes he brought a hoddie or something. What happened to the idea that being drunk made you warm? Yet Dean must have noticed his shivering crossed hands and inched over slowly.

“Hey “, he whispered, “You cold?”

“A little bit, it’s okay”

“I have an idea, lay down”, Dean said pointing to the side of the bed closest to the wall. Castiel followed what Dean was requesting. He couldn’t believe he was about to lay down in the bed of someone that just a day ago he was wishing he could even say hi to. He got comfortable on the bed and Dean reached to the foot of the bed and pulled out a green soft blanket. Castiel thought Dean was just going to hand it to him but instead Dean lays down in front of Cas, spooning him, as he placed the blanket on both of them. Cas’s heart skipped beat. Castiel was afraid to move, he didn’t want to wake up and learn this was a dream. Slowly he leaned forward into Dean, placing his head into Dean’s neck. Dean’s arm moves and at first Castiel thinks he’s going to move Cas’s head back. Instead Dean reaches for Cas’s arm. When he finds it, he runs his hand down the length of it until he reaches Castiel’s hand. Dean’s fingers entangle Castiel’s and Dean pulls his hand up and over his own side so that Castiel is half hugging him. Castiel can barely breath. He doesn’t know how to react. Castiel didn’t know that this could happen. His thoughts are cloudy and he is drowsy. The movie drones on but Castiel is only thinking about the thumb that is rubbing Castiel’s hand. Castiel can feel Dean’s breathe, it’s even and slow and it’s rocking Castiel to sleep. The warmth of Dean body was something Castiel could only ever imagine.

 Suddenly he’s being shaken by Charlie. Castiel opens his eyes to Charlie telling him that he needs to wake up so she can get him to bed. She’s nowhere near as drunk and she’s thinking more clearly. Castiel sits up, unlocking his hand from Dean’s reluctantly. He glances over to the beanbag to discover that Jo was gone. He looks st Ash’s bed to see Ash passed out in it. Dorothy is hanging onto Charlie’s arm. Cas knew that meant it was time to leave. He slowly crawls to the end of the bed he doesn’t disturb Dean. He looks at the clock.

  _4:32_.  

Once Castiel leaves the bed he hears a whimper from Dean who moves back, expecting a body to be there. When he is met with no one he curls forward into himself. Castiel wishes for anything that he could get back into the bed. But he knew that Dean woke up with a random boy in his bed he might not react the same way he did when he was drunk. He follows Charlie and Dorothy out the door into the brightness of the hallway. Charlie and Dorothy get off on the 5th floor but Castiel must make the trek to the 8th floor. When he reaches his door he unlocks it, thankful that his roommate isn’t here this weekend to be mad. Castiel shuts off the lights and falls into his bed. He falls asleep quickly but not before wishing Dean would remember him in the morning.


	2. Wait For It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Love doesn't discriminate  
> Between the sinners  
> And the saints  
> It takes and it takes and it takes  
> And we keep loving anyway  
> We laugh and we cry  
> And we break  
> And we make our mistakes  
> And if there's a reason I'm by her side  
> When so many have tried  
> Then I'm willing to wait for it  
> I'm willing to wait for it"

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

The alarm clock. Leave it Castiel to have an alarm go off at 9:00 am on a Saturday.  Castiel sat up with a groan and slammed his hand over his clock to stop the noise. He had the typical symptoms of a hangover. Dry mouth, headache, and nauseous.  He slid out of bed, pushed his feet into his slippers and walked over to his mini-fridge to grab a water bottle. Ripping open the cap he chugged half the bottle in one go. Putting the cap back on he surveyed the room and realized that he must have pulled his pants off and threw them onto his roommate’s bed last night. He picked them up and went to throw them in his dirty laundry where they belong. Before he did that he pulled out his phone, key… _wait_ …. where was his school ID. He could have sworn he had it just last night. Castiel frantically looked around the room for his ID. Without it he couldn’t get back into his building or swipe to get into the cafeteria. Castiel was as his desk lifting up books and notes to see if it was hidden under there when he heard a rap at the door. Castiel walked over to the door and looked out the peephole. He was met with tired green eyes. _Dean_.

Castiel pulled open the door and was met with Dean’s smile.

“Hey, sorry if I woke you up”

Castiel looked down, now conscience that he was in a t-shirt and boxers.

“You didn’t wake me up, don’t worry” Castiel stumbled.

“Oh well, you left this down in my room last night. Thought you might need it”

Dean handed Castiel his school ID. Castiel was reaching for the card when Dean pulled it away.

“Wait, I just wanted to apologize if I made you uncomfortable last night. I get like that when I’m drunk and I don’t want you to get the wrong impression of me.

Castiel deflated. He knew that Dean would never be interested in him. He was making this all up in his head. Of course, Dean was drunk.

Dean reached his arm out with the ID card once again. Castiel managed to grab it this time and held it in his hand. He looked down at it, flipping it over several times before looking up at Dean and speaking.

“It’s totally fine don’t worry”

“Hey wait a minute, you’re in my Medieval History course!”

“Oh yea,” Cas lied, “I think I remember you”

“Isn’t Singer the best, I love the guy. I always try to take a course that he’s teaching even though it has nothing to do with my major.”

“He seems really nice, what is your major”

“Oh I’m Biology Pre-Med ut I’m thinking about changing it to something more History related- or maybe Sociology, what about you”

“Oh I’m a History major!” Cas said ecstatically.

“Really”, Dean smiled, “I’m jealous, I wish I had the balls to go against my father and switch my major”

“You should do what make you happy”

Dean laughed, “Yeah, tell that one to my father”

“I’m serious”

Dean let out a small sigh, Cas could tell there was more to this conversation than Dean was letting on.

Dean must have noticed all the Chemistry notes sitting on Cas’s desk because he asked Cas what a History major was doing with Chemistry notes.

“I’m fulfilling my science course requirement. Probably should have went with something easier but unfortunately the online Weather and Climate course was full when Castiel went to schedule his classes.

“How’s that going”

“Well not too well considering I’m close to failing,” Castiel half-joked.

Dean paused.

“I can help you out if you need it, I’m in OChem right now so you can say I’m the Chem King, “Dean laughed.

“You would really do that”

“For sure, hopefully it will make up for last night”

“If you can get me to pass my next test I’ll never mention it again”

Castiel would give anything for Dean to not regret last night but if he is alone in his feelings he is not going to make Dean uncomfortable. Maybe being friends is better than nothing.

Dean smiled and ran his hands through his hair.

“Oh how about I give you my number, text me when you’re free and we can meet up and I’ll help you out”

Dean handed Cas his phone and Castiel programmed his number in. He then sent a text to himself so that Cas now had Dean’s number.

“I’ll be sure to do that”

“Alright well I better get going, I have to go get Ash a burger from the café. The man refuses to leave his bed with a hangover unless he’s given something super greasy to eat.”.

“I guess I’ll see you later then”

“Oh yeah, just remember to text me.” Dean knocked on the door frame, said bye and turned around and walked down the hall.

Castiel shut the door and turned around to the mirror on the opposite side of the wall. His hair was a mess and his eyes here bloodshot. He looked like a mess. He quickly locked the door, got undressed and got into his shower.

 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

By the time he got out his phone was blowing up with texts from Charlie. She wanted to talk to Castiel but his door was locked.

CB: _Cas open your door I need to talk to you._

CB: _CAS_

CB: _Castiel Novak you open your door this minute_

She then sent a bunch of random emojis, he assumed she was trying to get him to wake up by the text message sound.

Castiel texted back

CN: _Sorry I was in the shower. Stop by in 5 minutes._

Castiel pulled on clean clothes. This ended up being light jeans and a blue and black button down. He made a mental note to do laundry before the weekend was over. Shortly after buttoning up his shirt there was a knock on his door. Castiel walked over and opened the door to let Charlie in.

“Talk to me” Castiel said as he walked back to his closet to pull out a pair of socks.

“Wellllll,” Charlie started, “I might have made out with Dorothy last night”

“No way!”

Castiel knew that Charlie had a crush on Dorothy so lived across the hall from her. He was happy for Charlie but his throat closed up. He could feel the deep seated jealously in his chest. He knew that he shouldn’t feel this way but it was hard not to when everyone around him had someone that was at least interested in talking to them. Charlie told Castiel more about her night and how Dorothy wanted to watch Moonrise Kingdom but they only made it through the opening when Dorothy made her move. Castiel was trying to listen but he kept thinking about last night and how nice it felt when he wrapped up in Dean’s arms.

“Earth to Cas, are you still here,” Charlie joked as she snapped her fingers.

“I’m right here, it sounds like you had an eventful night”

“I agree, anyway I’m gonna go hop in the shower. Wanna grab lunch after”

Cas nodded his head. He wasn’t going to bring up the fact that Dean found his room and brought him his ID card that he left down there. He wasn’t going to bring up the fact that Dean hadn’t felt the same about him or that he wanted to forget last night. Castiel knew that Charlie would try and make him forget about Dean but the truth was, Cas didn’t want to forget about Dean. Charlie left the room and Castiel turned to read over his notes some more. He couldn’t quite grasp Orbital Hybridization at all. Then he remembered he was supposed to text Dean. He walked over to his bed side and grabbed his phone. He opened up to the unread text message from an unsaved number. Castiel saved the number and drafted a text to Dean.

CN: Hey, I’m free after 1 today if you’re up for a study session. It’s okay if not.

Castiel debated whether or not to add a smiley face. He decided that it was too much and sent the text as it. He went back to studying but all he could think about was Dean hand on his.

_Ding. Ding._

His phone went off. It was Dean

DW: Yeah sure, stop by my room when you’re ready and we can walk to the library together (:

Castiel’s breath hitched. The smile. He didn’t know to think but he quickly sent back a reply.

CN: Okay. Thanks again by the way.

Just then Charlie knocked on his door. Castiel grabbed his keys and ID and when he opened up the door Dorothy was also in tow.

“You don’t mind that I invited her right”

Castiel looked at Dorothy and Charlie and smiled.

“Of course not, now let’s go. I’m starving”


	3. That Would Be Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "We don’t need a legacy  
> We don’t need money  
> If I could grant you peace of mind  
> If you could let me inside your heart…"

It was currently 12:55. Castiel did not want to look too eager showing up at Dean’s door at exactly 1 but he had been sitting at his desk for a solid 5 minutes ready to go. He had double checked that his laptop was charged, he had all his notes, and that he filled up his bottle of water. 12:58. That’s enough time to get down there without being too early. Cas shut off his lights and locked the door before he made his way down the hall to the stairwell. When he got to the 4th floor he walked down the hall until he reached 4F and knocked. Dean opened the shirtless in a towel. His face flushed red when he realized it was 1 o’clock.

“Sorry, I can come back when you’re dressed and ready,” Castiel stammered, trying not to look at Dean’s body. He could tall that Dean was fit, but he wasn’t overly muscular. Cas imagined his hands on Dean’s hip-no, he wasn’t going to do that to himself.

“No, are you kidding me, just c’mon in I’ll be ready in just a second”

Castiel followed Dean apprehensively and sat down on the edge of Dean’s bed. Dean walked over to his dressed and singlehandedly pulled out some clothes and walked back to his bathroom. Castiel sighed a breath of relief that Dean wasn’t going to dress right in front of him. Yet he did leave the door open. Castiel busied himself with his phone until Dean walked out-dressed- but still soaking wet. He ran his towel through his hair to that it stopped dripping.

“Just give me a second to get my stuff together”

Dean grabbed his bookbag, phone, wallet and keys before motioning for Cas to get up. They left but Castiel noticed that Dean didn’t lock the door.

“I don’t lock it because Ash always forgets his keys. It’s this or I have to leave class early to let him in.”

Cas just nodded, made a noise of understanding, and kept walking. The library was across campus and it was very brisk outside in the winter air. Dean started telling Castiel about a new movie that he really wanted to watch and that it was coming out on Friday.

“It’s gonna be so good! Deadpool is my favorite character from the Marvel universe”

“Sounds like it’s going to be a good movie”, Castiel said not knowing how to respond.

“Yea, me and Ash are gonna go see it after class on Friday” Dean paused. “Hey, you should really come with us, I’m sure you’d love it”

Castiel tried to hold back his excitement. Dean really wanted to hang out with him. Cas had to calmly speak his affirmation so he didn’t seem out of character.

“What time is your last class on Friday then?”

“It ends at 1:30”

“Perfect, I’m done at 2:35 and Ash is done at noon. We can catch the 3:40 showing like planned”

They had reached the library. Dean pulled open the door and motioned for Castiel to step inside first. “Lets’ get a study group room,” Dean suggested.

The warm air hit them and Castiel felt burning in his fingertips as they walked to the front desk. The student working the desk was reading a text book and she did not look happy.

“Excuse me,” Castiel started, “Do you have any study group rooms available?”

The girl looked up at Cas with a scowl, “I don’t know, what wrong with the tables.”

Cas looked around, most of the tables were taken up.

“But-“

“Can’t you see I’m busy- I don’t have time to process your request”

Cas stepped away defeated. He knew that this girl was being unreasonable. He was about to walk to a table when Dean stepped up. He put on his award winning smile.

“Hey, can you be a doll and place us in one of the study group rooms upstairs. I have a huge test coming up and would appreciate it if you could give us a key.”

Dean placed his hand on the girl’s hand and smiled harder, making crinkles around the edges of his eyes.

The girl sigh. “Fine, but don’t bother me again”. She got up and walked into the back room and grabbed a key from the wall. When she returned Dean slid his ID card to her in exchange for the key.

“You have exactly 3 hours, if you do not return this key in time your account _will_ be charged”

“Sent and received,” Dean joked while placing his hand to his forehead and signing off to her.

“C’mon Cas, let’s go”

They walked toward the stairwell that lead to the rest of the books and the study rooms.

“You didn’t have to do that you know”

“What, sweet talk her? Oh that’s just Ruby- she’s always sour but now she’s really sour cause her boyfriend just broke up with her”

“Oh, I didn’t realize you knew her”

“Good thing I do because none of those table down there looked open”

They reached study group room 512 and Dean unlocked the door to a small closet sized room filled with a lamp, a small table, and 4 chairs. Behind the table was a whiteboard and a single red white board marker.

“Fancy huh,” Dean joked.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been in a study group room before. I usually study in my room”

“Well, welcome to a whole new realm. Usually I don’t actually study in here but today we really will”

“Okay, right now I’m lost with electron configuration- well I understand that but I really don’t get molecular orbital diagrams. How do you even know which section to fill in first”?

“Easy, give me an molecule and I’ll show you,” Dean said while preparing a blank diagram on the board.

The rest of the study session went just like that. Soon it was 2 hours later and Castiel was packing up his stuff.

“Thank you so much for helping me out, you really saved me on this one. I owe you.”

“Oh don’t worry about it.”

“No really, anything- I’ll help you out next time you need it.”

Dean reached out and placed his hand on Castiel’s shoulder. He smiled and repeated his “Don’t worry about it” phrase. Cas shivered when Dean lifted his hand and turned around to lock the study group room back up. They dropped the key off at the front desk and Dean received his ID card back from the still grumpy Ruby whole told them they were lucky they weren’t late. Walking back to the dorm Cas realized that he didn’t want to stop hanging out with Dean, but he didn’t have an excuse to stay with him. They walked up they stairwell and Dean stopped at the 4th floor.

“Well it’s been fun, well as fun as studying can be”

“Yes, thank you, again.”

“Anytime, let me know if you want to grab some food later”

Cas smiled.

“Will do”

Dean opened the door and turned to walk down the hallway.

Cas didn’t know what he was getting himself into.


End file.
